It's a beautiful box. I brought it into the office to show one of my staff and she said let's open it. I said sorry the box must be examined and recorded under the strictest Skyp rules and then opened at an official Skypilot outpost.

Then I walked back to the car with it and another guy came walking up and kept looking at me and looking at me until he finally said "Damn that's a weird looking box". I responded in tribute to Duke," Well when the going get's weird, the weird turn pro". He just stammered and walked away. Homeland Security is probably looking for me now.

Remember this exchange occurred at Ft. Detrick home to USAMRIID and the hotline uplink to Russia and well basically Ground Zero.

Dayglo at doomsday field. Cools Beans.
-- Wingman Nalaflow, AKA Skypsec



Just got off the phone with the Capn.
I need to find out what was in the box! It got delivered to the wrong apartment. The woman upstairs told me I had missed a bunch of excitement while I was gone. In this house there is a washer and dryer just inside the side door, and she actually has a key to come in and use them. When I came home tonight the dryer was going and presently she came down and told me the story. It seems the box had gone to her doorstep and she freaked out just looking at the colorful wrapping and old postmarks from everywhere. She said that she had been visited a couple of weeks ago by some Mideastern-looking fellow who had inquired in bad English if she had a box meant for him. She had said no and he had rather abruptly taken off in a van. So when she saw the mystery box she called the cops.
She said neighbors came out to watch as the K-9 unit was sent in to sniff the box, and evidently they got a nose full of something and "attacked the box," she said.
It was addressed to "some sort of Ace..."
"Airy Ace?" I said in stupid astonishment.
"Okay, that's not me."

this used to be me

I hope no one put anything illegal in the box. This is supposed to be an art project.
If I somehow get nailed with something I had nothing to do with, someone is going to feel pretty bad but not as bad as me. I guess that's about as good as my threats can get at the moment.
Supposedly, someone is outside watching me right now, according to what they told her.
I hope nothing comes of this besides the project going further, as I had hoped it would. I've been mulling over what sort of Kalamazoo thing to put in there.
Wish me luck, because if they cart me off you might not hear from me for a while.
This is really nuts.
Who let the dogs out?
Airy Ace

Airy Ace,

The person who sent you the box is JT in san fran. I sent him your email.

-- Capn Skyp

Okay. If someone sent something illegal, it might come back on them, but I don't think it will effect me. I simply don't want any problems. I hate jail and certainly have no business being there.
I have nothing here or in my blood, but I really just want to be left alone. This is the sort of strange turn of events that challenge the notion of freedom in this paranoid country of ours.
So far, nothing has happened, but I feel quite sure that if I left the house in the car they would at least follow me. This is the difference between paranoia and actual fear.
If I hear no more about this, the decision will be whether or not to try to retrieve it or just start over. They might blow it up, for all I know.

-- Airy Ace

Airy Ace,

my crap detector ran low on batteries and has now detected a prank. KB has no idea what's in that box and if you received it in any state other than pristeen, I'm afraid you'll have to register a complaint with the USPS, whom I'm sure will be happy to look at said contents. Goodnight Sir, and best wishes with the cargo in your hold.

You pays your money and you takes your chances,

-- Skypsec, most wishing you the best

Capn Skyp,
Skysec thinks this is a prank.
It would be cool if I could be that much of a conniver, I guess.
I told him that truth is stranger than fiction. That is something I realized long ago.
No prank. Cops actually have the mystery box, and I need to know if it's okay to demand it back.

Dear JT,
This is Airy Ace. as you have probably heard, there was a problem with the box. I need to know if those dogs were on to something or what.

Please tell me so I can prepare for the worst or just go and get it back from the cops.
I have heard nothing so far, so I will be here at least until I do.
Please reply as soon as you can.
--Airy Ace


I put a CD, some note cards, and an art print in the box. Oh, and a wind up toy nun. To my knowledge there is nothing illegal in the box. I don't use drugs or even drink for that matter. Sorry you are having a hassle!

-- JT

Capn Skyp,
Just received word from John that the box is clean of anything that might send someone up some river, so far as he knows. I guess the next step is try to retrieve it.
I view all of this as part of the art. It would be great to add a little video of my neighbor telling me her story, and then me getting the creepy noids. Assuming I get it back, this box will have a unique splotch of history from its visit to Kalamazoo.
Thanks for your help in finding the last skypilot to have the Mystery Box.
And wish me luck...
-- Airy Ace

Good luck, airy ace, and le's see what today brings. you might have to go retrieve it. Have the cops look at the website for all the mystery box stuff on there.

-- capn skyp

In re-reading Airy Ace's note to you I am reminded that this box thing was intended as an art project. A "Middle Eastern looking fellow"? how paranoid is that? It seems the more we go forward the further behind we get!  Now sniffing dogs, cops, what the hell is going on here? I haven't been to Kalamazoo in a while but I don't recall an armed camp. I found a lot of things in the box that made me uncomfortable, but no drugs. It is mostly innocuous and silly stuff, completely harmless.
Did anything we did over the last 45 or so years make a whit of difference? Wern't we able to loosen up our anal-retentive society at all? A regular bowel is a healthy bowel. Has the Cheney/Bush/Wolfiwitz/etc machine got us so scared and confused that we can no longer act for ourselves without a knee jerk of fear? A stupid box of toys is not supposed to illicit this kind of fear and loathing. I am so sorry that it has come to this.
Maybe this is a part of the art after all.


That sums it up. the box has revealed something about today's society. We all laff on. just hope the box doesn't get flommoxed by the cops and never seen again.

-- Capn Skyp

First thing I did was don a disguise as Don Clowned.

--airy ace

I just spoke with the lady upstairs and she went into more detail about how the dog went for the box.
She said she let the dog roam around her apartment first, with box out on the porch behind a chair. That seems kinda strange to just let a police dog sniff around your apartment even if you have nothing to hide. But then the cops moved the chair and the dog went right to the box and "...attacked it! I mean really went for it!" I wonder if they train the dogs to sniff out wind-up nuns.
Anyway, it didn't make me want to jump right into getting it back. She advised me that it might be better to just leave it alone.
Whatta ya think, (as if you want to be responsible)?
Ace facing mace

I think since there isn't anything in the box that is illegal you should go get it and explain what happened and have them check out

for the history of the box.

-- capn skyp

Friday, Feb 17, 2006. 1:08 PM PST

Capn Skyp,
I'm reporting from the Youth Development Center next to our Public Safety Department. This place used to be a Bill Knapp's Restaurant.

Walking to the copshop, shivering in the cold snap and feeling like another trap might snap, haunting memories of cold steel toilets and men behind bars. What to say? If you found something illegal in the box, I don't want it, otherwise I do. Yes, yes, I'm in a club called Skypilot and I'm a Skypilot and we send this box and put stuff in and take stuff out and, look, come over to this computer and I'll show you the magical history of this very box about which my propagandized neighbor and your confused canine made much ado about nothing.

Well, the skinny is if they find nothing they will return the box, and if I don't hear anything about it within a few days I'm supposed to call the women in the evidence room and ask what's the deal.

That's it for now. Not happy for leaving the Death Star without the box, but happy to leave the Death Star.
-- Airy Ace

I think the doggies were disturbed from in front.

What does that mean?

old beat/jazz saying. when you say they were disturbed from in front, it means they were already disturbed before they started going crazy over the box.

like lord buckley the humorist talking about jesus curing the cripple, lord buckley says the cripple was bent; he was bent from in front.

we must look at the mystery box adventure as a continuing escapade of whimsy with now the authorities chiming in on a concerto being orchestrated by some madcap conductor up in the O'Reilliken Galaxy where they are laughing their asses off except they don't have asses there, they have mules.

hope this straightens things out.

-- capn skyp

To Wingman Nalaflow aka Skypsec

Hey, man, I am so bummed out. I read Mystery Box Busted today, and we
hoped it was just another elaboration in the world of paranoid fiction. Then I
wrote to Capn Skyp, who quickly replied with some gnostic words; My co-pilot Mari-Claire insisted I write you immediately, hoping you can do something to save the Box. We became so attached to the saga, that though this (temporary) ending speaks to our times, it isn't the celebratory ending we envisioned. Whatever happens, you created a really good art adventure, and we'll hold out hope that it will end up the honorable and honored creation that you set in motion. We'll be watching for furtherdevelopments.

-- Yrs, Lazy R and M-C

Fear not. Airy Ace is a true Skypliot and if anyone can recover the Mystery Box it is he.

What we need now is patience. The Box exists, just outside of our bounds. I
spoke to Airy last night and he is willing and able. We're collaborating on
a song of his which I must get busy on.

The box will emerge. And to clear it all up, it was Maggie and I who created
the idea, and she shipped it first to me last summer. Hats off and an edible bug to my dear friend Maggie who mixes up as good as can be.

-- Wingman Nalaflow

to the tune of Mamas and the Papas' Creeque Alley.

Box busted, disgusted, neighbors can't be trusted

guess it had to be that way

[sometimes, yeah]

Down at the cop shop looking for a dime to drop

Give 'em someone else right away

Airy Ace was all in a flurry

But JT told him he didn't have to worry

Wolf and Maguire holding on the wire

Hoping that the box will sustain

And all the cops are wond'rin' what's up

With the dog poop stain

-- skypilot magpye




The Mystery Box has proved its worth and then some by putting itself into the very maw of anti-terrorist over the top copdom. Since Airy Ace hasn't yet identified himself to the police as the intended recipient (when he asked them about the box he portrayed himself as one of the apartment tenants and wanted to know what was going on) the box will probably stay in the evidence locker unless they decide to return it to the sender, skypilot JT in S.F.

-- Capn Skyp

But what about the edible bug?

Wingman just called me with news that someone reported "edible bugs" in the box. We agreed that we don't really know what that means. I have never had a chocolate-covered ant. Although my aunt (picture above) has a hankering for succulent treats. I am waiting to hear if this bug thing is code for the butt end of a mary juanna cigarette. See, that's how you avoid the spies; don't spell the word they are data mining for. Will edible bug be added to the list?

I would like for the art to continue, but art has often been seen as subversive. It normally takes a very intelligent person who cares about such ideas to come to that conclusion, and I doubt that the box will interest anyone like that around here.

I have heard nothing from the police and will let it be for a few days. I think that if I don't accept it until I'm sure they have no reason to prosecute, hopefully it will get back into circulation.
-- airy ace

Skypilotclub legal beagle chimes in with lawyerly legalease

As Skypilotclub general counsel, I advise the box to take the fifth. If the box talks, we'll all be hammering blocks in the yard of San Quentin. I'm not talking conventional criminal justice, but iron coffins with spikes on the inside. Under an obscure provision of the Patriot Act, the box can be held indefinitely in an orange jumpsuit, witnessing who knows what being flushed down the toilet. My connections in law enforcement tell me that the canine was Cheney's old bird dog--hence Fido's olfactory sense is shot, so to speak. In my estimation the dog's only reacting to the cartoon of the Prophet on the outside, in whose everlasting gobstopper mercy we wallow.There is no need to panic. Allah Akhbar ocean free, over and out.

-- Sgt. O'Reilly

Disposable Art

by Teknovations Inc

I have read numerous accounts of artists over the century whose secondary if not primary reason for creating the art is that it be altered if not even destroyed. The most glaring one that comes to mind is the sand mandalas of certain budhist monks. Many people are involved in its creation, meant to impart good time energy to all. In the end, the mandala is obliterated. Nothing for certain. Who has heard that one, nothing lasts.

Self destruct detonator installed in plain sight

in accordance with the plans published last night

cops have it locked up, exhibition of might

but skypilots know the definition of right

it's the turn you make when launching the flight

that defines the course through the tunnel to light.

 a  little poem
               for our beautiful Magic Box
               A prayer - lovely box-
               moving outward- here and there-
               hither and yon- adventure unknown- trusting
               SURPRISE! Here I am-
               Oh happy surprise- we want you back-
               Safe and pure as you left us
               No Hurt
               No Harm.
                                 Skypilot #64

The picture attached here is something I found on Pvt. Tourette's page. I saved it from whenever it was I visited cause I thought it was one of the funnier things I'd ever seen.
For the record, I told the cop at Public Safety that the box was meant for me, but that I knew of nothing illegal in it. He just didn't care. Didn't even ask who I was.
I had called earlier and was more vague about the box then, but that guy did take my name and address.
-- Airy Ace



A knock on the door, a huge hypodermic needle jabs through my ribcage shooting adrenaline directly into my heart muscle as I look out and see three large young men, one carrying a brightly colored box.
"You're not in any trouble or anything," the man with the box says. I want to believe him with all my heart so it will slow down.
Are you Airy Ace? Yes.
The story is retold, they have figured out that it is a "chain-box."
He said the lady upstairs had called and said she thought it was mine. Nice.
"At one time, someone who smokes weed might have put somethin' in here or something like that..." he figures.
Do I know any middle eastern men? No.
Do I smoke a little weed now and then? Answer's a no-brainer.
I sign a paper.
The box is mine!
Like you said on the phone during my frantic call, "Nothing's gonna happen to you."
Well, things happened and the mystery box has revealed something about us all, especially the neighbor lady.
Sorry, there will be no beheadings today.
Just kidding, I know you all wished me the best in spite of what a cool story it would have been if I had gotten the worst.
I have not actually opened the box as of this moment. So, Skypsec, what exactly do I do as far as reporting contents and sending it forward? I know I take something out and put something in. That's all I know.
-- Airy Ace


Capn Skyp,
If there is an answer to the question, "Was it worth it?" it can be answered by the fact that I have barely begun to grok the contents of the Mystery Box.
The box itself is an amazing work of art, a bud that would make a bee impatient for it to open. Opening the box is to discover the portal to an entire world. The art of the box itself continues to unfold and I have realized that it is so beyond my definition of a "box" that using the word seems embarrassing. Its depth of wonderment challenges the idea of three dimensions. This sounds over the top, but it is not.
I have only gone an inch or two into it. It is not a lack of curiosity, but I find that it's like eating fudge. I can't eat that much fudge at one time.

There is a book in there, The Morning of the Magicians by Louis Pauwels and Jaques Bergeier, which demands contemplation with nearly every line, even in the pre face. Quoting his "adopted father", a tailor and socialist in the early 1900's:
"Even the most troubled epoch is worthy of respect, because it is the work of not just a few people but of humanity; and thus it is the work of creative nature - which is often cruel but never absurd. If this epoch in which we are living is a cruel one it is more than ever our duty to love it, to penetrate it with our love till we have removed the heavy weight of matter screening the light that shines on the other side."
Even though it reminds me of something your best friend Ken Kesey might have said, the author at this point rebels at the simplicity of the notion. And it goes on, each idea another bite of fudge.

I think I'll gain twenty pounds before I finish the box.
This box was worth far more than I had realized, and I would have forgone all fear had I truly known the prize.
-- Airy Ace