SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2003

CELEBRATE CELEBRATE
DANCE TO THE MUSIC!

***

Li'l ol' E-you-Gene town in farawy Oh-Ree-Gone was celebrating up the proverbial storm far into the night what with their hometown Ducks quacking the invading Wolverines into smarmy snarls in the weirdest football game of the century what with a blocked field goal returned for touchdown, apparent touchdown ruled six inches short, fake punt hits player in the head, easy field goal turns into botched fake stuffed and quartered, nation's top runner makes 26 yards total, two-headed quarterback wings em balls straight and true, blocked punt proves game winner.

***

Turns out Corn Lady on the left put the hex on the visitors and when all is said and done to a twist the wolverine on the right is packaged and bundled for the long trip home.

Paul Delay, blues maestro and champion mouth harpist puts the the final hit on the celebration fun, crowd joining in the chorus: "They came from the Big Ten to have their fun, but when it was all over the Pac Ten had them on the run."

-- celebration report filed by skypilotclub correspondent,
I Was There


AH, TO HELL WITH THIS

I'M GONNA RE-INSTALL
MY OPERATING SYSTEM

STAND BY FOR RESULTS

****

The mysterious X'd out extension that appears when my mac boots up has elicited many many responses but so far none of the ploys has removed the offending image. One of the problems is you can't figure out what the extension icon is because of the humongous X. So I made a feeble attempt to wipe out the X but I still can't see what lies beneath it.

-- Capn Skyp


TO READ ALL ABOUT THE
GREAT BIG BOOK GIVEAWAY
TO REMEMBER THE VICTIMS
OF SEPTEMBER 11TH, CLICK ON

BOOK


TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 2003

Joyce at the Martello Tower
by Steve King

Photograph: James Joyce by C. F. Curran, taken in 1904 a few months before Joyce would move into the Martello Tower in Sandycove. On this day in 1904, twenty-two-year-old James Joyce moved into the Martello Tower in Sandycove, outside Dublin, with his friend Oliver St. John Gogarty. The Tower setting would become the opening chapter of Ulysses. The Sandycove Martello Tower was one of many built by the British army a century earlier as a defense system against a Napoleonic invasion, thus Stephen Dedalus (Joyce) is able to joke that Buck Mulligan (Gogarty) pays his rent to "the secretary of state for war." The view of Joyce's "snotgreen" and "scrotumtightening" sea is as it was.

Richard Ellmann's biography of Joyce tells this account of Joyce and Gogarty strolling the shore on their usual search for money and an opportunity for wit:

One day they saw Yeats's father, John Butler Yeats, walking on the strand, and Gogarty, prodded by Joyce, said to him, "Good morning, Mr. Yeats, would you be so good as to lend us two shillings?" The old man looked from one to the other and retorted, "Certainly not. In the first place I have no money, and if I had it and lent it to you, you and your friend would spend it on drink." Joyce came forward and said gravely, as Gogarty afterwards recalled, "We cannot speak about that which is not." Yeats had already moved on, so Joyce had to make his point only to Gogarty, "You see, the razor of Occam forbids the introduction of superfluous arguments. When he said he had no money that was enough. He had no right to discuss the possible use of the non-existent."


Capn,

In the segment about Gate One I would like to respectfully add a correction and a few things that he failed to share. My brother and I were both at Bryant Denny Stadium with Gate One and he did not bum the case of bottled water from the State Troopers. He in fact five finger discounted the case from under their noses. He did sell and give away the water during the 1st half of the game and during halftime. About three or four minutes into the 3rd quarter of the game, Gate One, myself and my brother decided we would exit the stadium and go around the corner to University Parkway for a drink, and watch the remainder of the game on television. Gate One tells us to meet him outside the gate. When we arrived outside the stadium where the rendevous point was, Gate One was waiting for us in the golf cart, with a college kid on back expecting a ride to a fraternity house. What Gate One had done at this point, was turned the ticket in the stadium (the golf cart), into a taxi cab and charging twenty dollars a lift to whoever needed one. Me and my brother get on the golf cart with them, and off we go. Passing at least 15 campus police, city police and State Trooper cars. Gate One then turns down University Parkway heading toward the fraternity house he is taxi'ng the kid to, drops him off, then continues down the heavily crowded street in the cart which is highly illegal. At this point I said to my brother, "I have definately seen it all now". All the while laughing my ass off. We ended up driving down a back alley where the strip of college watering holes were we wanted to hit. Gate One parked it, I wiped down the golf cart making sure no finger prints could implicate me with the stolen golf cart, and we went inside. As far as I know the golf cart is still there.

-- Sp33dy


MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2003

The Oklahoma-Alabama story reminds of the time my friend Phil could only get a Handicapped ticket for the ND-Michigan game. So he secured a wheelchair and had his wife wheel him into the stadium, where they stacked the wheelchair folks in  three deep rows on the field. Phil was in the third row, and his scheme went as planned until...he had to take a pee...and voila!... a miracle cure.
-- Sgt. O'Reilly


SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2003

These people are from the Ukraine and have three gyro stabilized arms with a three axis gyro stabilized head.  Here's a photo when we were in Monument Valley two months ago.
Later,
Buco


capn:
When I got in last night after the Oklahoma game, I had a message on my machine from the Gate One. ("gate" was stoned/drunk lingo for "great")

By gametime last night, the Gate One had given up on getting tickets so he was hanging out next to the stadium when he noticed a group of Alabama State Troopers lounging around on huge stacks of cases of bottled water. He walks over and bums a case of bottled water off the troopers and put the case of water on the back of a golf cart parked near the troopers. He sat down in the cart and put the key to his bike lock into the ignition switch. Sure enough, the cart cranks up and the Gate One heads for the maintenance gate at the end of the north end zone of Bryant-Denny stadium. The police and security guards immediately opened the gate and the Gate One drove his golf cart down onto the sideline where he gave away/sold bottled water on about the 43 yard line for the entire game.
After the game, he drove the cart out the same gate and drove along with the crowd down about two blocks to the Strip where he left the golf cart. He keeps up with skypilotclub and this being in the spirit of the club, I thought it appropriate to pass the story along to you.

-- saludos, roberto


FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2003

I gave a talk about kesey to a high school english class and realized the bus trip is such ancient history none of them had ever heard about it. Made me think of when I was a kid and the roaring twenties were ancient history and I didn't know anything about that decade and it was closer then than the sixties are now.

Mork was the dork from ork and the expression mork the dork is still a good one.

"Your record's stuck," always gets a "huh?" from kids when you say that to them. Except for Liz of course who still plays records. The applicable saying is, "vinyl will never die."

The kids circling the bus on the bicycles were asking, "Are you Peacers or Geezers?"

Happy mediums are the best. they channel jokes and buffoonery and produce uncontrolled giggling which makes for some great trombone sounds

Edgar Cayce was a happy medium. Or was he a disgruntled XL?

He was a photographer which is a medium into itself.

He predicted California would fall into the ocean in the 60's. But it didn't have to happen if the people straightened out, forgot the filthy lucre and invested in love.

And it happened. Love reigned down on the people, thanks to the good vibrations of the Beach Boys and Pigpen turning on the love light.

So you can tell yer chilluns that something real good came out of the sixties. The sixties kept California from falling into the ocean.

Without a warning, she broke my heart... Surely, a few Californians must have fallen into the ocean in the '60s, if not the whole state.

There was an appropriate hole left in the state where the dearly departed fell in but the whole thing was covered up. Nixon crawled out later to re-emerge on the international scene. It has been cataloged in the library at San Clemente.

Without Nixon and his ilk, who would we have had to play off of? Think of the material the man provided...you can't buy that stuff.

In 1964 our main man was Barry Goldwater without whom we wouldn't have had the magic phrase: A Vote For Barry Is A Vote For Fun.

Now we have Arnie.

-- Capn of the Skyfalutin


TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2003

SHOCKING!

He thought:
a quarterback was a refund.
General Motors was in the army.
Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
Boyz II Men was a day care center.
If he spoke his mind, he'd be speechless.
He could not use the AM radio in the evening.
Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

He took the ruler to bed to see how long he slept,
sent a fax with a stamp on it,
tripped over a cordless phone,
spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concentrate,
put M&M's in alphabetical order,
studied for a blood test,
sold the car for gas money,
missed the #44 bus, took the #22 bus twice,
went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," turned around and called for help, saying, meet me at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."

At the bottom of the job application where it says "Sign here:" he wrote "Sagittarius." Under "education" he wrote "Hooked On Phonics."
He heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so he moved.


This is it. The closest Mars has been to earth in 60,000 years. It's a beaut. Brightest thing in the sky. Get out your telescopes, cameras, binoculars. There's meteor showers happening, too.

For more on Mars and a bigger pic, click on:

MARS


Never trust a . . . who said he was going to a snow job and then didn't, or how did the philosophy change him? A religious thing?

Pranksters as a religion? Some religion. A non religion pursued by non religionists, not seeking sychopants and professing no known philosophies other than, "nothing lasts," and "You're either on the bus or under the bus," and "The sixties ain't over till the fat lady gets high."

Accolytes abound and bound about in glee. Pranks are funny, don't harm anyone and don't have anyone as a goat.

I told a phone solicitation person yesterday that he had breached a secure line and according to the homeland security act I could puncture his eardrums with a blast from my trombone but he hung up before I could pucker up.


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