"Taxes Taxes. Hey, I got an Uncle that lives in Taxes.
He lives in Dallas, Taxes"
-- Chico Marx
THURSDAY, APRIL 10, 2003
Yes, it is that time of year again when all mortals come to grips with their greatest fears. No alternative but to face them squarely and tackle the worst first and vault through to the other side.
Ol' Capn Skyp is no different. And now he must gird his loins, strap on his armor and apply hisself to the task. You guessed it. Income Taxes.
Cap is buried by shreds of paper containing all the receipts and canceled checks and government forms galore.
FRIDAY, APRIL 11, 2003
TAXING, VERY TAXING
Before one can even think about starting the dreaded taxes, one must have the proper space in which to work. This spot looks appropriate but in this bleak state not much desk space so first one must create a desk and for that one needs desk making material.
The desk making material search takes one outside into the bleakness of drizzly Oregon where appropriate building supplies lurk under behemoth firs and sprawling blue tarps or nestled in funky shed nooks. Then to paw amongst the possibilities, rejecting this (too worm eaten), debating that (it's a maybe but looks a tad small for the job), finally discovering the piece of plywood (ancient fund raising thermometer for Dexter Library) that would work if plywood would work and durn, but this has taken all day, just to find the stuff, now I have to dry it over the wood stove before I can begin to saw, hammer, hassle and assemble.
8 days to go and counting. Gloom doom and despair.
-- capn skyp
SATURDAY APRIL 12, 2003
***
The tax desk is assembled and in place and the computer all set to go but what's this? The cat won't give up the chair. We shall see about that. Here, kitty kitty kitty, come get your kibbles. That's a good kitty.
The official tax preparation station is up and running with the operator in place. Now to install the Turbotax software, but what's this? It's a Windows program. We don't do no stinkin windows. Capn Skyp is a Mac guy. No problemo, Esse, quick dash to town to get the Mac program. Bi Mart, Wal Mart, K Mart, Target, Circuit City, none of them carry Mac stuff. Only recourse is to hie away to the Apple Store.
-- Capn skyp
***
TUESDAY, APRIL 15, 2003
TAX DAY, U.S.A.
Ha ha. I finished the taxes. Did 'em on the computer. Turbo Tax. Downloaded the state program yesterday. Computer wouldn't do it until I discovered I was using Internet Explorer as my default browser. We don't use no Internet Explorer. We be Netscape. Changed the default browser, the state program loaded in, I punched in the numbers and ready now to e-file. Man we is up to speed with this digital revolution.
Despite the fack we only gots a 28.8 K phone line. Oh well, living in the sticks has its advantages. Unless you open the fridge to find out someone knocked the orange juice pitcher over and everything inside the box is covered with sticky orange goo and there's a lake of juice at the bottom and you've gotta make those school lunches, make breakfast, build the fire (when is winter gonna leave fer cryin' out loud?), feed the animals, kiss the wife and daughter goodbye before you can even think about cleaning up the fridge.
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